Knights of Walpurgis

Posts Tagged ‘love’

Why does it have to be you?

In Uncategorized on September 21, 2018 at 8:40 am

Hello, Silver P.,

Why does it have to be you?

Why did you have to be the one to first talk to me?

Why did you have to be the drunk one to call me in the evening?

Why did you call me instead of your boyfriend? What am I really to you?

That night, I wished things had gone far different but my fear and sense of decency took hold of me, refusing to dive in the ocean of uncertainty.

And now we must say our goodbyes for I fear (and maybe even hope) that we would never see each other again…

I wish that I ave met you sooner. I wish that I have been born in a different place and maybe we could be together.

Hands trying to grab a red heart in a bird cage / Forbidden love concept


Morality and Musings on It

In Uncategorized on March 25, 2012 at 11:49 pm

What does Kohlberg’s stages of moral development tell us? There is a lot to learn from this. For example, pre-conventional morality involves, first, avoidance of punishment. Conformity to self-interest or wants proceeds from this. It is an indication that the aversion to pain is more primal than push to satisfy the desire.

The second level is the conventional morality. It first involves an introspection into the person’s intentionality and motivation and ends in looking at the greater perspective of society.

At the third level is post-conventional morality. The first principle is the “Vox Populi, Vox Dei” principle. This is a powerful principle because it reflects the will of the majority without regard for their level of understanding (this could just be due to the media spoon-feeding them with lies). The will of the majority can destroy a person and even a country. Never underestimate the person who can wield this power in his hands. The next principle involves universal ethical principles (the existence of which is still being debated) which transcends time, place and culture. This seeks to derive humanity into its basic goodness which means looking for what is innately good in each and every person. The last perspective involves looking at the universe and how it absorbs the effect of your actions. This means that every little thing you do affects everyone else even though it is negligible but if a million of these little things coalesce, they become powerful agents of change.

We now proceed to Erik Erikson’s psychosocial development in adulthood.

What is important for me is the stage of intimacy vs. isolation. The goal is to achieve love and commitment in order to populate the earth by gratuitous amount of boning. My problem is that I already started in this stage yet I still have not yet found my lover. This is indeed grave because I am running out of time and I failed to, at least, reveal my fondness to a girl I use to know. Aside from looking for love in this stage of your life, career is also one of the preoccupations of people in this stage. The balance between these two has been the subject of many films and TV series and the fascination with these are indicative of their value.

I would like to tell you more if I have time but right now, I need some sleep. 



Treated as Equals

In Uncategorized on November 12, 2011 at 11:58 pm

I propose a theory of egalitarian infatuation whereby those commonly called (romantically) “in love” are equals and specifically, of equal economic status. This observation might seem obvious but the media pervades the notion that people of different social status will have meaningful relationships. This notion is a grave falsification of the order in which the world works. A poor person cannot marry a rich person or, if they indeed have a romantic relationship, it would not last. It is doomed to failure.

Since the man and woman (the only ethical relationship) are equals, there must be reciprocal exchange of resources between the two. In the chauvinist view, only the man gives the resources while the woman dispenses according to her will based on the family’s need. Even in this case, the woman devotes her time and energy in order to properly distribute the resources, the effort of which is equal to the work that the man does.

Society has an innate capability to stabilize itself. There will always be rich and poor and there will always be more poor than rich. A truly egalitarian society, like the vision of communism, is a mere fantasy. Homeostasis would tend to keep the poor in their miserable situation and the rich in their affluence. Members of these classes would have different cultures even within a country. Hence, an economic subculture is an integral part of a stable society. It would be easier to relate with a person of similar social standing and “falling in love” will mostly be a process that will be easy. If two people of different social statuses “fall in love,” one of them cannot give equal resources to the other. The subcultural boundaries also would result in different world views: the rich worldview is the world as a place where resources can be generated while that of the poor person’s worldview is the world as a place of struggle for survival. The rich see stability in the status quo while the poor sees a world that does not care for them.

Rich people would not want to marry people that are less rich than them. Some of their resources will be diverted to the other person without a corresponding and equal resource exchange. It is then established that love is a contract of economic nature. This view might seem pessimistic but this is how the world works. However, rich people do not stay rich forever but poor people can remain poor for several generations. There is then a tendency towards disorder which is inherent in any system and not just in thermodynamics where this fact is frequently mentioned. In order for this disorder to happen, one needs only to do nothing and time and life would come into passage to erode the social order. The appropriate term for this is entropy.

P. S. There is much more to be said but time simply is not enough. I would expand this article in my next essays which might include examples from my life which is very wonderful indeed. I can only blog in the privacy of my space when the people in the house are asleep or when I am alone. This gives me plenty of time to think without the pressure of people looking over my shoulder and saying, “Whatchoo doin’?”

To C. It’s complicated

In Uncategorized on January 15, 2011 at 3:55 pm

I met this girl last December. I never thought that I would be in love again since this is the last semester for me and I am about to graduate.

We were in the same class in philosophy. Classes start on October but we never really talked to each other since I just thought of her as just another classmate albeit a pretty one. It all came to the point where we were supposed to choose our groupmates but I do not know any of my classmates, even those that sit beside me. However, we were sort of pulled to each other because she does not have a group.

I do not know her name. I already met her when we were writing down our names on the pieces of paper. We held our first group meeting the afternoon (our classes were in the morning). She was early for the meeting which was a surprise since I expected her to be late, like most people are. I went to her and I got the courage to ask her name. We talked for more than thirty minutes which seemed like an eternity to me, before our other groupmates arrived. Two days later, I texted my groupmates for us to conduct a meeting about our project, however only she showed up. It was also in the afternoon but she has a class afterward which means that we have an hour and a half of free time. We talked about stuff and others while we trudged along the university campus. I slowly found myself falling for her.

Last Christmas, I gave a gift to her. It was the first time that I actually gave a present to a girl in which I was not required to do so. I wanted to talk to her but she left in a hurry. Her text message saying thanks is the only consolation I have. After the Christmas vacation, I was already dying to see her. By this time, we were already seatmates. I was translating terms for her in English since she is not quite familiar with the native language. I texted her in the pretext that we have to study since we will be having a quiz. We went to the nearest coffee shop to study where we would have privacy.

I do not really know if she is attracted to me but the times I have been spending with her are really long and one of the best I had. I want to ask her out but she always has something to do on Fridays. This Friday, she went back to her province to her parents’ prodding because of an absurd request which I am not at liberty to say. Next Friday, I have stuff to do which is required by the school. It is a trip which we should have conducted last year but due to cancellations, this requirement was pushed to the side. Therefore, I am not allowed to go out late on a friday for the next two weeks. I really wish I have a car so that it is not shameful for me to take her out on a date.

After our graduation, she was supposed to go back to her province where she would work under her family’s business but I will stay in the city since I will pursue further studies. It seems that it is absurd for me to continue this fantasy since this is already fated to end. What am I to do?

Frustration #3

In Uncategorized on October 31, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Girls are my third frustration.

I wish I could easily talk to them without being much awkward. I have friends who are girls and I can talk to them but it gets kind of awkward when there are only two of us. I do not know what the hell I am supposed to talk about. I try to begin with something that we have in common like classes and subjects but it is difficult to move to something different. I wish I could be smooth and cool like the cool guys who get all the girls they want.

I think I fell in love many times but I always stop somewhere before things got serious. I have to admit that more than three years that I saw this girl, I am still in love with her. From that time on to the present, I felt attracted to numerous girls with some being close to me. Some of these girls are my friends and it is difficult to move from the friend zone to the More Than Friends zone. My move is to talk to them about stuff but it always just ends in that. When you try to think too much about what you are going to do, you end up not doing it.

One of the girls that I tried to make a move on has a guy bestfriend. This is kind of problematic. I once saw her at my gym, started a conversation which ended up with both of us agreeing that we would contact each other to see each other again at the gym. Before we said goodbye to each other, she said that I should not tell her bestfriend that we are seeing each other at the gym. I stuck to that. For the next several weeks, I contacted her, telling her that we should hang out at the gym on this time at this date. However, she kept making excuses about not being able to go to our appointments. After a few weeks, I gave up. She is a hopeless cause and it is her loss not mine. A few weeks later, another friend of mine was making a move on her and her guy bestfriend broke the other guy’s arm.

Another girl that I was making a move on recently broke up with her boyfriend. She then began talking to me which I took as a sign of flirting and I reciprocated. However, she came back to her old boyfriend a few months later. Even if we theoretically had a relationship, it would still be fraught with difficulties mainly because she is a lesbian. I would still hit on her though because she is one of the hottest girls I know. She always wears these slutty shorts and I fantasized of fucking her. Hell, even if she already has a boyfriend, we could still do it–friends with benefits or fuck buddies.

The girl that I was talking about, which again is my crush for the longest time, is who I am hoping for to be my classmate in one of my classes. We have different courses which are quite far apart from each other. This means that it would take a stroke of luck for us to be classmates. However, we were classmates three years ago and I cherished some good memories with her. I remembered the time when, after class, about 4:30 pm, she just sat next to me in a bench and we started talking. This continued on for the next thirty minutes. In another time, we were walking side by side while we were both going out of our university while trudging the path out of the campus. After that incident, I tried waiting for her for days to go to the same path but she did not.

Last semester, I met this girl. We were from the same course and we have many mutual friends. She is beautiful and hot but she is not really my type. However, I heard from many of my friends that she likes me. During classes, we usually sat right next to each other and talked about various things. I am trying to not make a move on her and just let things go their natural course. However, I think I am attracted not to her but to one of her close friends which is also a friend of mine. Another deterrent for making a move on the girl who likes me is the fact that she is very rich. She wears diamond jewelry in class. How am I able to go to her in a date without making my wallet bleed?