Knights of Walpurgis

Posts Tagged ‘women’

Frustration #3

In Uncategorized on October 31, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Girls are my third frustration.

I wish I could easily talk to them without being much awkward. I have friends who are girls and I can talk to them but it gets kind of awkward when there are only two of us. I do not know what the hell I am supposed to talk about. I try to begin with something that we have in common like classes and subjects but it is difficult to move to something different. I wish I could be smooth and cool like the cool guys who get all the girls they want.

I think I fell in love many times but I always stop somewhere before things got serious. I have to admit that more than three years that I saw this girl, I am still in love with her. From that time on to the present, I felt attracted to numerous girls with some being close to me. Some of these girls are my friends and it is difficult to move from the friend zone to the More Than Friends zone. My move is to talk to them about stuff but it always just ends in that. When you try to think too much about what you are going to do, you end up not doing it.

One of the girls that I tried to make a move on has a guy bestfriend. This is kind of problematic. I once saw her at my gym, started a conversation which ended up with both of us agreeing that we would contact each other to see each other again at the gym. Before we said goodbye to each other, she said that I should not tell her bestfriend that we are seeing each other at the gym. I stuck to that. For the next several weeks, I contacted her, telling her that we should hang out at the gym on this time at this date. However, she kept making excuses about not being able to go to our appointments. After a few weeks, I gave up. She is a hopeless cause and it is her loss not mine. A few weeks later, another friend of mine was making a move on her and her guy bestfriend broke the other guy’s arm.

Another girl that I was making a move on recently broke up with her boyfriend. She then began talking to me which I took as a sign of flirting and I reciprocated. However, she came back to her old boyfriend a few months later. Even if we theoretically had a relationship, it would still be fraught with difficulties mainly because she is a lesbian. I would still hit on her though because she is one of the hottest girls I know. She always wears these slutty shorts and I fantasized of fucking her. Hell, even if she already has a boyfriend, we could still do it–friends with benefits or fuck buddies.

The girl that I was talking about, which again is my crush for the longest time, is who I am hoping for to be my classmate in one of my classes. We have different courses which are quite far apart from each other. This means that it would take a stroke of luck for us to be classmates. However, we were classmates three years ago and I cherished some good memories with her. I remembered the time when, after class, about 4:30 pm, she just sat next to me in a bench and we started talking. This continued on for the next thirty minutes. In another time, we were walking side by side while we were both going out of our university while trudging the path out of the campus. After that incident, I tried waiting for her for days to go to the same path but she did not.

Last semester, I met this girl. We were from the same course and we have many mutual friends. She is beautiful and hot but she is not really my type. However, I heard from many of my friends that she likes me. During classes, we usually sat right next to each other and talked about various things. I am trying to not make a move on her and just let things go their natural course. However, I think I am attracted not to her but to one of her close friends which is also a friend of mine. Another deterrent for making a move on the girl who likes me is the fact that she is very rich. She wears diamond jewelry in class. How am I able to go to her in a date without making my wallet bleed?

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